death is just around the corner

it seems like death has been showing up everywhere in my life nowadays, it isn't directly affecting me, but it's happening to the people around me, just last week someone i knew died,let's call him matt(just an alias to hide his true identity) we weren't close, i hardly knew him, he was actually a friend of my boyfriend and yet his death had such an impact in me... i don't wanna go into details on all the facts of his death, all i'll say is someone stabbed him and he knew that person who did it to him, he was stabbed because of a material object.. how sad losing life for such an invaluable thing, matt was so young and full of dreams.... a couple of days later, i had hospital duty, we arrived at hospital at about 6:00am, we arrived at a wrong time, we arrived at such a sad and depressing moment, at the emergency room there's a couple of windows so upon entering the gate of the hospital you have an unobstructed view of what's going on inside.. it was the first time i witnessed someone dying, it was an old man in his 60's, they were performing CPR on the man, but by the looks of the man you would know in an instant that he was goner, it was so hard witnessing the scene, wanting to help but knowing that you're powerless. two different situations, two different circumstances yet the outcome was the same.. both their stories came to the same ending.. death... never have i felt such close to death.. my eyes were forced to open so wide.. death constantly at our heels... now i ponder on how i would die... i wonder how it would go... would it be slow or fast, expected or unexpected.. yet i not only worry about my death i worry about those i love too.. how would they die? are they ready to go?.. im not afraid of death, there is nothing to fear yet the past days just got me thinking what if im next? so just incase i go anytime soon, to my family i love you, to angelo i love you, to my friends i love you,to my enemies im sorry, ... time is gold, what a cliche yet so true...